I need advice from a psychologist or psychiatrist please?

I'm to a breaking point in my life regarding my marriage. I've been married for 17 years but I think the end of our marriage is near. My husband insist that I am a crazy, selfish, manipulative, controlling, rude, psycotic, and I can't think of any more names right now. He says that I'm never going to be happy because my expectations in a relationship are ridiculous. I know that I have a bad attitude, that I am controlling, that I am needy for attention and affection, that I have low tolernce to ignorant people, people that have no boundaries, people that don't respect the privacy and space of others. I got married when I was 15. My husband knew that I loved attention and affection. He knew I had anger issue when I was listened too ot ignored and he still married me. At this point in my life I know I still have some issues that I can make better but how am I suppose to act differently when I express a concern and he take me lightly, says that I am a mean person because he doesn't know how to say no to others, he says that I'm crazy about expecting attention/affection due to that there is no time because of work, kids and life. His family has always been an issue in our marriage. They don't know how to respect privacy and they just show up unexpectedly and I've told him to talk to them and ask them to call before showing up and respect that we have busy lives and we are sometimes tired but no he says that he can't be mean that I am a mean person so he rather for us to start an agrument. As of right now we just had our fourth son and we have been arguing none stop ever since he was born 4 weeks ago. The main argument right now is his family and that he doesn't show me affection. He has never been very affectionate only when it comes to sex than he wants me to be available but it doesn't work like that. I believe a marriage should be cultivated. I basically lost hope that we can ever be truly happy and satisfied with one another.